January 7, 2015

Yesterday I was up at 2:20 am I could not sleep, I tried staying in bed…then I decided to talk to God because He is the only person that you can talk to at that time.  After awhile I got up and put on my running clothes not that I wanted to train but I thought if I got dressed the desire might come.  My desire to train is just not there anymore, it is  January 7, 2015 and I ran only 1 day for the year and I have less than 90 days to go before the race.  I am not ready.  I am scared.  I am overwhelmed. I feel like I will never be ready.  Did I say scared?  If you don’t train you can’t get what you want so what do I do.  They say push through but sometimes you don’t have what it takes to push through on your own.  I have never done this much training by myself and it’s so difficult.  What was I thinking? Why did I sign up for this race? Am I really cut out for this? My discipline level is weaning the little I had I have used it all up.  God I need help.  My work schedule and the fact that daylight ends by 5pm really limit my options. 

I got up and ran….some days are difficult

Goal: 3 hours Run/Walk

Accomplished: 3 hours of 4min Run 2 min Walk.

It was a slow 3 hours struggled but got it in so I am happy.